Software Engineering and Mental Health

To know surprise, mental health affects everything around us, and especially the software industry. As THE industry to be in, there is a push from the bottom (the workers) to fight over being a top performer, and the squeeze from the top to prove out some startup idea or to meet some lofty business goal. This section will hope to describe how you can live in this industry without burning yourself out while doing it.

Hustle Culture

Growing up you’ve probably heard the term “Hustle Culture”, which is the idea that our culture is based on the amount of hustle we put into our jobs and careers. Society values the people that spend on working - you’ll probably hear something like “I skipped lunch so I could finish that feature” or “I spent all night figuring out where that bug was” and those are seen as feats to be praised.

And that’s great, if those truly resonate with you then more power to you. But for many people the feeling comes not from the work itself, but from the appearance that we are so resilient that we can push ourselves more so than our peers.

Your Career does have to NOT Define You

The way that I was raised, being successful was all about having the best job and makes loads of money so that you will have a roof over your head and never have to worry about paying rent. And there is plenty of wisdom in that advice and a key part of survival. But I think there is a limit to that wisdom. I want to take a step back and look at this from an outside perspective. A person that only judges themselves based on their career is pretty one-dimensional, right? There is so much more to being human than just their contributions to their work. People are funny, adventureous, and caring. None of these have to do anything about their work - so why do we put some much emphasis on people’s careers?

Financial Success does NOT Define You

The first thought is that it is a sign of your financial stability, which is very important. Having the financial freedom to express yourself lays a foundation for you to truly be yourself without having to worry about the other dangers out there. Think of it as a tool that will allow you to do the things that you want to do.

Check out this graph of how gaining wealth returns diminishing returns of money and how it affects their negative emotions:

Much of this has to due with a concept known as “hedonic treadmill” which is the observation of humans to quickly return to adapt to new situations and become the new “normal”, despite positive or negative events or life changes. We adapt to our situation over time, and as long as our basic needs are met we feel the same amount of happiness.

Money is not the thing that should be coveted but something that helps you achieve your goals. If money helps you achieve your dream of sailing across the ocean, then more power to you - just remind yourself that money is a means, not the end and you’ll do fine.

Your Job is NOT does NOT Define You

Many people tend to believe that how they perform on the job is how much they value themselves, but this way of thinking will lead you down a dark path. You should do your best at all times, but know that to a certain extent there is a lot of factors that play into the success of an employee - boss, management, work, team dynamics that it’s not always under your control how well you do.

My first internship was a mess - the manager that hired me left before I started, and I was put under the care of another first year employee. I did what I could to try and find things for myself to do, but when it came time to prepare for our internship presentation I was left presenting bug fixes and enhancements while my peers had these big projects they’d been working on from the start. I didn’t get a job offer then, and I felt like crap. But I knew I was better then that and I continued on interviewing and got a job offer worth more than what others at that internship was offered! It’s all about knowing your own self-worth. Don’t let your job tell know how much your value is, let you decide your own value.

Meditation can help Refocus

Does it ever feel like no matter how hard you try, things seem to be piling up? Does the current task every feel like a huge mountain that is impossible to climb? I’ve felt the same thing throughout my career and I haven’t met a programmer that hasn’t felt like that in some way before.

Meditation has helped me center myself in those situations during those situations. Meditation is the practice of quieting the thoughts that are going through your head so that you find the “the signal through the noise”. I personally use the mobile app headspace for guided meditation through several different topics such as self-esteem, relationships, stress management, and much more.

One of the practices of meditation is to step back from a certain thought and to examine it from afar in order to discern the real essence of the thought. This is an important skill to have because it allows you to catch yourself from the whirlwind of thoughts going through your head and allow you to approach the problem from a place of clear and calmness. Imagine yourself in a ballroom. First you may be on the dance floor with your partner, it is quite hectic - your moving with your partner, maneuvering across the floor making sure that you aren’t going to run into anyone. But if you look at the same ballroom from the balcony, you might see a totally different picture - it is quite peaceful and there may not even be as many people as you had thought! There are tons of examples of how stepping back from a problem can help you see the true problem at hand - and a valuable skill in seeing the “big picture”.

I’ll rely to the experts for exactly how to practice meditation, but this is something that has given me a calmness that helped me through many difficult situations.

Be Real with Yourself

I think one of the hardest pills to swallow as a young adults is that we are not as special as we originally thought. As we grew up, we had expectations around every corner of our lives - from parents, friends, mentors, etc. For many of us that comes out that we have to be great at everything - great at programming, great at public speaking, heck great at cooking a steak. Let me just tell you that there is so much out there that it is IMPOSSIBLE to be great at everything. But once we realize that, I think there is liberating! When you realize that you are who you are, it frees you to be who you want to be - not be what others expect of you. So what if you aren’t the best programmer right now, if that’s something you want to work on then you can practice until you feel confident in yourself. This leads your mindset towards one of growth, rather than stress. It gives yourself some leeway between where you are and what YOU want to become.